


the light i saw in my dream

by arbitrary_comma



Category: NCT (Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Background Character Death, Gen, Science Fiction, Somewhat Hopeful Ending, Virtual Reality, only emptiness, part of something bigger, visual fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:08:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28997268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arbitrary_comma/pseuds/arbitrary_comma
Summary: It didn’t make any sense.But if he learned anything in his whole life, it’s not to dwell too much and let everything flow. There are a lot of things that couldn’t be explained, but he stopped thinking about them, no matter where Hendery searched he never found any answers.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten & Wong Kun Hang | Hendery
Kudos: 9
Collections: Challenge #4 — Awaken The World





	the light i saw in my dream

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [Porter Robinson & Madeon - Shelter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzQ6gRAEoy0)

Hendery opened his eyes slowly, white ceiling came into view. He stared at it for a little while, gathering enough consciousness to control his limbs properly. He rose and adjusted his position so he was sitting against the headboard, eyes observing around the room. There was nothing much, the wall was painted in pastel brown furnished with a simple double-door cupboard, a bedside table, and a high-tech PC gaming setup in one corner. The middle spacious area was covered with soft carpet and several plushies on top of it.

Hendery pondered for a while, he thought it might be time for some change of scenery.

He reached for his left to the remaining space of the queen sized bed, but he found nothing. “Now where did I last put that thing,” he mumbled as he stood and searched every inch of his bed. He glanced at the bedside table and opened the drawer that comes with it, nothing but a heapful of earrings. 

He looked under his bed, and the rectangle tablet finally came into view. Hendrey huffed as he stretched his hands to get it. He settled himself on the carpet and tapped the screen. It came to life, home screen showing the current time and date and a messaging app icon, not like it mattered. He slid to the next widget, his last piece of work displayed on screen. He cleared everything and his surroundings started to disappear. The ceiling, walls, and all pieces of furniture slowly disintegrated to fine dust and ultimately vanished, leaving Hendery in a vast blue sky as far as he could see, as if he was floating. 

Only the white unicorn plushie remained, as per usual.

He started to sketch on the blank screen, each stroke manifested in his reality. Hendery could hear the muted robotic sound and the burst of color and texture from the corner of his eyes, but he ignored it for now, opting to concentrate on finishing his creation. He added the final touch with some simple colors, looking at it in satisfaction. When he finally looked up, he was greeted with a perfect copy of his vision.

A landscape of the city surrounded him, numerous buildings alight with yellow glow of lights against a deep blue-purplish sky. In the middle, stood a golden skyscraper, towering above all the other structures. The torch-like building glowed brighter, somehow warmer.

Hendery remembered the very first time he ‘created’. He experimented with it a lot, constructing buildings, forming nature, generating wind and movements or something new entirely; almost anything his mind could conjure, except for humans and animals. He was excited and happy with each new environment he set up.

At least for a while. That was 16 years ago, when everything was new and he lived through them from curious eyes. Those eyes had long died now.

Hendery walked through the city, strolling mindlessly, flashing lights illuminating the empty concrete road. It was quiet, so he tapped several times on his tablet and he could hear music accompanying his every step. It’s one of Hendery’s favorite inventions, with no one to interact with, music was able to fill the emptiness he felt. A little bit. He still mostly felt like a void. 

After a while, he finally went to the main attraction, the skyscraper. He soon reached the highest floor that was conveniently filled with living necessities. He threw himself on the bed, and spotted the unicorn plushie placed perfectly on the bed. No matter where he left it — even if he misplaced it or intentionally got rid of it — the unicorn doll would always return. The only thing permanent during his lifetime - aside from the tablet, which he used daily anyway. It’s fine, he liked it enough.

He looked through the big pane windows of his room, to the beautiful city lights. He felt content for a while, the view pleased him somewhat. But then he noticed something off.

Stars. He could see stars, he was sure he didn’t put it there, city lights dimming shining stars and what not. He looked closer through the windows, suddenly doubting his eyesight.

Maybe it’s the glass, made him see things. Hendery made the short trip to the open rooftop of the building, eagerly looking up. Another surprise. It’s not just the stars, there was a big full moon hung in the sky. The astronomical objects glowed a dim light individually, but together they shone radiantly in the night sky. 

Hendery didn't know why, but he felt like tearing up a little bit. He had made moon and stars before, but this felt different. 

He hadn’t felt anything like this in a long time, usually just a dull ache of twisting emotions that he conveniently shoved in the back of his mind. This is… something new. A different emotion he forgot he might have. Hendery couldn’t exactly put it in words, but his insides were churning restlessly, but it still felt… good? Anxious? Thrilled? 

The moon and stars felt familiar. Safe.

It didn’t make any sense. 

But if he learned anything in his whole life, it’s not to dwell too much and let everything flow. There are a lot of things that couldn’t be explained, but he stopped thinking about them, no matter where Hendery searched he never found any answers. 

He woke up, maybe changed his world, observed and played a bit, and then went back to sleep. Each and every day passed. Nothing changed anymore. 

At least that was what Hendery thought, until today. 

Hendery made a fluffy sleeping bag and decided to camp there on the rooftop. He relished in the newfound feeling of comfort he found, The last thing he saw was the beautiful night sky that lulled him to sleep.

* * *

The moon and stars remained. 

He changed his world several times and they persisted. The moon could be seen in all the switches, changing shapes as each day passed - Hendery had gone a full cycle with it - while the stars were only visible in a darker setting. 

He found himself creating realms that would allow him to enjoy the celestial objects more. Laid on his back, hugging his plushie, Hendery felt - dare he say it - content, almost like happiness.

He hung on it like a lifeline, not willing to let go.

* * *

Hendery woke up to a field full of different colored flowers. 

He couldn’t help but look in awe, amazed by all the colors and shapes. The flowers rustled gently against each other, the gentle breeze carried their calming scent. 

Hendery looked around and his breath hitched. Not so far from him, stood a big cherry blossom tree, fully bloomed in perhaps every color that existed. But Hendery wasn’t focused on them enough to be mesmerized in them. No, he caught something else that garnered his interest. 

A person, other than himself. 

Hendery couldn’t see the person clearly, as he was sitting below the tree, hidden behind its shadows. He was looking at the outstretched field and then slowly stroked on his sketchbook, repeating this motion again and again. 

Hendery froze in his spot, too stunned to do anything. So he continued to observe as the boy peacefully unaware of another presence in his space. But the gentle breeze turned violent, gushing with a cold blast of air. The boy had to turn his head to avoid getting barraged by it directly.

And that’s when he finally saw Hendery.

For a moment their eyes met, and time seemed to stop. The boy stared at him wide eyed and he haphazardly threw his sketching book, rushing to Hendery’s side. Not a second later, the boy was in front of him, face mere centimeters away. 

Hendery was unable to do anything as his brain had unhelpfully ceased to function. The boy spoke rapidly in a foreign language, sometimes stressing his voice in a higher note. The boy took a hint when he realized the only response he’s getting was… nothing. So he stopped talking and took a step back. 

Now that the proximity between them stretched, Hendery could finally observe the other boy properly. The black cat-like eyes, pointed nose, and sharp jaw defining his face. His eyes shone with curiosity and excitement, lips turned into a big smile. His short, white hair caressed by the gentle wind.

“Ten,” he said as he pointed at himself. 

Realizing that he was offering his name, Hendery did the same. It sounded croaked because he rarely talked - why should he when there was no one to do it with.

“Hendery,” he repeated. The name rolls off Ten’s tongue softly as if it was precious. 

But before he could reply back, everything turned pitch black and Hendery could feel himself falling. Everything felt like slow motion, he reached out a hand to the other male. Ten, who had recovered from his initial shock, hastily outstretched his hands to grab him. But their hands never connected. The last thing he saw was the stricken horror expression Ten had on his face as Hendery continued to plunge into the darkness. 

* * *

He woke up with a start, his breath ragged as he recalled the dream he just had. 

Of course it was a dream. 

Hendery let out a frustrated groan, hand running through his hair roughly. He had always slept in peace, dreamless. So having one about a boy that seemingly appeared out of thin and disappeared as quick as he showed up, was most definitely annoying. 

It gave him a little hope that he wasn’t alone, but alas it crashed once again.

“Never mind, never mind” he softly repeated. He didn’t realize how tense he was until he could feel his plushie squashed almost flat in his hands. Hendery evened his breathing, taking a lungful of air and exhaled it slowly, feeling his muscles relaxed under his skin. He reached for his glass in the dim light and drank the glass on his makeshift table, grateful for the cool water cooling his parched throat. Putting it down, he cracked his head and turned to stretch his sore neck.

Apparently, today wasn't ordinary and he didn’t get to be at ease for long.

To his right, on the bare land, a mid-sized telescope, comfortably mounted on its tripod. Again, not his doing. His heart beat uncontrollably, deafening his own ears. He could feel the tension back, cold sweat running through his back. 

Nervous. Very nervous. 

He closed the distance hesitantly to the optical device, its metal surface glinting under the moonlight, cold under his touch. Hendery peeked under the lens finding it blurred. He reached for the focus knob, adjusting first the lowest power eyepiece, then the bigger power one. 

It's not until later, when he was smiling in satisfaction as he got a clear view of the moon that he realized all his movement seemed automatic, as if he had done this many times before.

Subsequently, somehow reacting to the realization, his footing was suddenly gone, and Hendery felt himself falling for the second time. 

* * *

He landed softly on his knees, placed in the middle of a playground. There were a lot of kids running around, some excitedly playing on the swings, some screaming as they descended on the slides. He zeroed his eyes on a familiar piece of plush in the sandbox, neatly placed on top of a sand castle made by a little boy. He was smiling as he patted some more sands on the sides of the frail building and stood proudly as he looked over it.

The little kid suddenly turned around, now looking directly to Hendery. He ran excitedly towards him that Hendery was afraid he would fall and crash midway. But it never happened. In fact, the kid didn’t even acknowledge his presence as he swished past him. Hendery turned around and choked at the sight.

The little boy practically threw himself to a young woman’s arm. Her beaming smile was fond as she lifted the boy up.

The next few things happened without his control. As he blinked, the scenery changed. They — Hendery, the little kid, and the woman — were suddenly in a bedroom, painted blue. The woman held the child in her arms, both snuggled comfortably on top of the bed. She held a picture book in front of them as she read through it. The boy losing a fighting battle to keep his eyes open, eventually dozed off to sleep. The woman carefully removed herself from the kid and covered him in a blanket, kissing his forehead with a loving smile. 

Hendery found himself on top of a hill, looking at the same boy and woman. The kid was eagerly looking through the telescope while the woman was laying out a blanket on the ground. The little boy called for her, blabbering in excitement as he found something interesting through the device. The woman happily obliged and came to his side, she played around with the telescope and in turn letting the boy to look through them again. The kid's face turned into amazement as he peered over the lens.

The view changed again, a well lit spacious area, Hendery’s eyes immediately caught interest in one specific object. A spacecraft stood tall in the middle of the room, the familiar figures crowding its entrance. The boy was crying and thrashing as the woman pushed him into the pod, looking like it was only made for one. The woman touched the boy’s face with forlorn eyes, wiping his hot tears. She whispered to the child’s ear and he became pliant, even though the tears didn’t stop. The woman gave the boy a unicorn plushie  —  the unicorn plushie  —  and he held it tight in his arms. 

She patted the boy’s head as she closed the shuttle, and with a few clicks of a panel nearby, the rocket engine vibrated. She took some distance from it and watched with tearful eyes as the hatch above opened, making way for the rocket to blast off. 

And then the whole thing disappeared, changed to another darkness enveloped him. No more scenes, it's him alone. Again

Hendery could easily identify that boy as the younger version of himself and he was almost sure the woman was his mother. 

He didn't recall having any memories of his mother, not like he missed her. You can’t exactly miss what you never had. But seeing the flashbacks before him makes his heart ache, it squeezed the life out of him with unshed blood. After all this time searching, he didn't really like the answer that was given to him. 

It wasn’t an answer, just more mystery (or misery?) added to his plate. 

As he wallowed in his own emotions, unable to process them all at once, his tab pinged to life, demanding his attention. The rays shone bright in the middle of darkness. He reached out to it and saw a notification

A new message. 

Hendery was not sure how much he could take anymore. The day had been a constant rollercoaster ride. 

But he couldn’t just ignore the signs that were offered to him, especially not when he had been searching for so long.

So with a bated breath, he clicked the mail icon, and read.

It was a long, heartfelt letter from her mother. The gist of it: his mom was sorry for not being able to accompany and giving him more love. She had to send him away to save him from earth’s impending destruction caused by an unstoppable planetoid collision. She had administered a memory suppressing drug so he would be able to move on without the burden of his past life and memories. But she prepared this letter, just in case the drug wore off. She hoped it would never come to it, wishing that he could continue to live in blissful ignorance, and then she said sorry again.

_ I love you. You’ll be okay _

The letter ended. Hendery dropped the tab, reduced to a wailing mess of tears at the end. 

He let out the most anguish scream he could ever muster and the loudest he had ever done. This couldn’t be the explanation he had sought. He laid in the darkness as his dam of emotion broke, the long suppressed emotions he had ignored, all came back in a nauseating wave of anxiousness and loneliness. 

For a while Hendery just laid there, unmoving, not sure how long. It could be hours, days, or maybe months. He never felt tired or hungry; he didn’t feel hot or cold and never got sick. So he never bothered to track time anymore, it didn’t matter. 

It mattered even less now — when there was nothing left waiting for him.

* * *

Hendery almost missed the notification from his abandoned tab. 

He thought of it as a dream again, maybe he fell asleep during his spiraling emotions, but the sound continued, again and again, until he was unable to ignore it any longer. He lifted his heavy head and glanced at the persisting disturbance. 

"What now?" he groaned. Hendery honestly couldn’t have been bothered with anything else, he didn’t care anymore — what even is there to care about.

Hendery grabbed the tab anyway and true enough, some messages were received. 

He clicked and stared blankly at the sender’s name, unsure if his eyes were playing tricks with him. The name hit him like a bucket of cold ice, he was suddenly more awake than he had ever been. 

**Ten**

He opened each one starting from the bottom, the earliest he received them. It was written in a language he didn’t recognize. Fortunately, the translate option was available and he was able to decipher the message

_ This one better sent through _

_ Oh my god, it’s delivered _

_ HELLO! THIS IS TEN! ARE YOU HENDERY? _

_ We met before! I think... _

Real. Ten was real. 

He didn’t hesitate to compose a reply and hit send.

_ Ten? This is Hendery. _

_ Where are you?  _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Welcome and thank you for reaching the end of this fic.  
> The whole headcanon somehow grew way bigger for a fic inspired by a single mv and to fit a 3k. I don't know if i put enough in the story to make some sense on it.  
> If you're interested in more, you can ask them over at my [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/arbitrary_comma)
> 
> As always my biggest, fattest thank you to my dearest friend and beta, D  
> You have my whole heart
> 
> And for the mods of a little wonder fest, thank you so much for this wonderful round <3  
> there were many errors i made along the way, but thank you for understanding and being patient with me.


End file.
